Two Days To Go

Yea fuck yea here we go home stretch!!

Last day in Lincoln today before I leave and hopefully wont be back for at least three months when I have leave for a fortnight. Get a long weekend off after six or so weeks, but have already long planned for that haha thats gonna be party week. Planning on flying straight to Bangkok and see some old faces and get truly arseholed and back in time for tea at Catterick. Hats off if I manage it I think what a story to tell when I get back!

Talking of getting arseholed went out for one last time with some mates in Lincoln the other night after work. Watta night!! Went round a few pubs straight after work with a friend then another met us a few hours later in his mini cooper soft top the bastard thats one cool ass car.

Went to a few old haunts with these two then went straight to a club in Lincoln and who was there but that lass mate of mine and her boyfriend whos in the army I couldnt fucking believe it!! Turned out we were cool after all though and looks like I'll have a familiar face to go with a drink when I get to Germany so thats pretty awersome I suppose.

The mood didnt last though my mate introduced me to these two lasses and when she told them I was in the army they got wet just looking at me. Now these lasses, bless them, werent anything special, but by this time I was well and truly pissed, having had over a dozen pints in little over three hours, on top of doing a load of shots with my mates before we came in. I was going to the loo to bang a few johnnies out and had the sudden genius idea (as you do when your pissed) to ring an ex - girlfriend up. Off all the ex girlfriends of mine (and friends in general) this is the one who I still have feelings for and would love to see one day again, but know that the chances are pretty slim. So when she hung up after she realised it was me I was absolutley buggered, and proceded to neck the contents of the bar that forty pounds can buy. The night ended with me vommitting pretty much everywhere, including the following:

• in the bar


• in the bars toilets


• down the stairs in the bar


• outside the bar


• in the river


• in the taxi home (taxi driver not impressed)


• on the drive up to my front door


• downstaris bog


• upstaris bog


• and my personal fave when told about it the next morning, out my bedroom window. quality.

So with these precious few days left I'm seeing a lass tonight in Hull, get the rest of my kit packed for Catterick, and get the train up on Sunday morning via York.

Right time to watch a throw back classic before I get started on packing, a bit of the old Rocky 3 harhar. Who knows when I'll next be on here but hopefully it wont be untill that weekend off when I report from an inet cafe in good old Bangers suffering the inevitable hangover.

Cherz.

5 Days To Go (and an angry bloke)

I know I've waited all this time (four years!) but with only 120 hours left it's dragging on even slower!! Talk about torture couldn't they just slap me about a bit, shine a torch in my eye you know some chinese water torture that kinda thing haha take that shit over the waiting game.

Talking to a mate tonight her boyfriends in the same battillion I'm joining, which normaly would be a cool thing you'd thing. Shit not this one more like a fucking curse as we have this history shit and hes always had a grudge. Great. I expect the first week he'll have sombody lined up to grease my arse down and aim for penertration. Lovely.

Aside from one angry pyscotic grudge holding boyfriend I'm totaly over the mood joining the battalion I am. One of the reasons I'm so eager beaver to join the army is the travelling. Get this my battiolion has just left UK for Celle, Germany, for the next four to years. Get to travel Europe weekends off and can still speak ok German so harhar bring that mofo on!

After Germany apparntly the battiolions moving to Cyprus for two or three years. Now come on Cyprus!! Thats more like it its the most enviable posting and no prizes for guessing why; golden white beaches, blue surf and naked freaky European chicks for the squaddies taking brap!

At least with this dick head waiting I can console myself with the delicious fact that for the first eight or so years I'll be abroad. Thank Fuck For That.

By the way the anrgy man at the top of the page is an artists impression of what my mates bloke will look like when he sees me first time at battalion. Probaly . . .

Six Days To Go

Ok that's it. No longer a civillian. Had my oath of alliegnce today which means I'm now a member of Her Majesties Armed Forces, and bound by millitary law. Sweet.

Last few weeks been training all day every day and now ready as I'll ever be for ITC Catterick, which is a good feeling knowing I've done everything I can. Back in Lincoln for a bit now before I go in six days, seeing old friends, tying up loose ends that sort of shit.

Got a fucking brill idea for my weekend leave as well haha get three days off after six or seven weeks and recon I'm going to just get first train up from Catterick to airport and blitz it up to old Bangkok for the weekend see some familair faces and get totaly shitted!!

More to follow . . .